Deadly Sins
by Aurelle
Summary: Tobi and Deidara decide to label each Akatsuki member with one of the seven deadly sins. The end result might not have been what they expected, however. Oneshot.


Summary: Deidara decides to label each Akatsuki member with one of the deadly sins. The end result might not have been what he expected, however.

Disclaimer: All Naruto characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto.

**Deadly Sins**

"Kakuzu's definitely Avarice, yeah."

"Do you think so, Deidara-sempai? Kakuzu-san's not that greedy."

"Pft, that just shows you how little you know about the other members, Tobi. If there's money, Kakuzu will be there."

"You're a little possessive about money yourself, sempai."

"Shut up, yeah."

Lying down on a hilly landscape, Deidara and Tobi of the Akatsuki were passing the interval until their next mission began by talking. Tobi was sprawled across the grass, his cloak partly open. Deidara was working on a miniscule sculpture of a clay bird.

The day was moderately temperate; the sun had just begun to set. The blanket of heat that had once encased the fields had finally been smothered; instead a thin sheet of warmth had replaced it.

As usual, Deidara and Tobi were talking to each other. The former member didn't necessarily enjoy speaking with his teammate, but he found that everything seemed much more droll when he didn't. Tobi was always ecstatic chatting with his partner, and threw himself into their conversations with enthusiasm.

When they had first come to the hills to take a rest, Deidara had been in no mood to make small talk. The daimyo they had been assigned to assassinate had managed to escape, and the two Akatsuki members had been forced to flee. Dreading the scolding they'd receive from their leader, Deidara had begun muttering about death wishes.

Tobi had tried to change the subject by talking about dogs, only to be shushed by his partner. Eventually, they had settled on talking about the seven deadly sins. Deidara wasn't sure how they had come up with the subject, especially when they had been talking about scarves a few minutes before. It wasn't like he really cared, however. It was still more amusing than the process of creating knitting needles -- which they had talked about earlier that day, too.

"What sin do you think you're most like, sempai?" Tobi asked, as he picked at a wilting dandelion absentmindedly. "Tobi thinks that Deidara-sempai's most like Envy."

"...Envy?" Deidara sniffed. "What makes you think that? I'm not jealous of anyone."

"Tobi kind of thinks otherwise," the orange-masked member replied. "Deidara-sempai seems to be pretty jealous of Itachi-san."

Deidara twitched. "Hardly, yeah. Stupid Uchiha's not..."

"Worthy of your jealousy?"

"No! I mean, well... Yeah, I guess."

"In that case, maybe Tobi was wrong."

Deidara nodded approvingly. "Of course."

"Tobi thinks Deidara-sempai's more like Vanity, now."

Deidara grimaced. "Should I ask why?"

Tobi tucked his arms into his cloak. Leaning back on the hill, he looked up at the sky. "You're always talking about how great your art is. You also seem to be kind of full of yourself. You know, getting yourself into dangerous situations; like with the Kyuubi kid." Chuckling to himself, Tobi continued. "You nearly got killed. I really thought you did. Shame that -- woah!"

Dodging a swift punch from his partner, Tobi rubbed at his head. "Tobi was only telling you what he thought, sempai."

"I don't think I'll ask for your opinion next time," Deidara grumbled. "Whatever. If I'm pride, Uchiha must be that a thousand times over."

"Well," Tobi continued speaking, unfazed. "Don't you think that Hidan-san would probably be Wrath?"

Deidara grunted. "Throw in a little bit of all of the sins and you've got Hidan perfectly pictured, yeah."

"Along with a large dose of swearing," Tobi added. Grinning underneath his mask, he pondered. "Hey, sempai? Do you think that cussing is a sin?"

The blonde Akatsuki member molded the bird's beak gingerly. "I don't know. I doubt that it's a deadly sin though."

"Tobi thinks he understands." Lifting a gloved finger toward the sky, he traced a fluffy-looking cloud in the sky. Dropping his hand softly, he turned back to Deidara. "What does sempai think that Tobi is?"

The artist rolled his eyes. "I can't think of enough sins that you are, yeah."

"Tobi's hurt."

"You hardly sound insulted. Stop laughing before you tell someone you're sad next time."

Taking the neck of the newly crafted clay bird, Deidara snapped it in half. When he met Tobi's curious gaze, he stopped to explain. "Its body wasn't shaped very well. I'm starting over, yeah."

"Oh. ...But sempai, what do you think Tobi is? The truth this time."

"What I told you before was the truth," Deidara muttered, while making a new wing for his bird. "But I guess if I had to single it out to just one sin, you'd be Sloth."

"Sloth?"

"Mhm," Deidara assented.

"Tobi's not lazy, though. Is he?"

An image of a certain daimyo fleeing flickered in the blonde's head. If he recalled, the assassination victim had only been able to run because of the nap Tobi had taken upon himself to undergo during the mission.

Not bothering to answer, Deidara went back to working with his mound of clay. Crafting delicate feet, he gingerly placed them on the bottom of the bird's body.

"Is sempai being quiet because Tobi isn't Sloth after all?"

"No. You're definitely Sloth," Deidara answered.

"Aw. Tobi doesn't even get to be a cool sin."

Snorting, Deidara spoke. "Whatever. What do you think Kisame is?"

Tobi replied immediately. "Tobi thinks he might be Wrath too."

"...Why?"

"Have you seen Kisame-san fight before? The way he hits his victims is..." Tobi shuddered involuntarily. "That sword of his is pretty scary."

"What, Samehada? I guess it can be pretty intimidating, yeah."

"You mean it _is_ intimidating," Tobi corrected.

"Whatever."

Tossing the dandelion back onto the grass, Tobi plucked another one. Its head was embellished with white puffy seeds; it almost looked like a transparent ball of cotton. Tobi spun it slowly between his fingers.

"Tobi thinks Zetsu-sempai might be two sins," he mused. "Don't you?"

Deidara snorted lightly. "I think he might just be creepy. Don't you?" he mimicked.

Ignoring his partner, the junior member continued. "Tobi thinks Zetsu-sempai might be both Wrath and Gluttony."

"Stop tacking everyone with the Wrath sin," Deidara muttered.

"Just answer Tobi's question, sempai. Do you agree?"

"I guess it makes sense," the artist agreed grudgingly. "Zetsu can eat quite a bit, yeah."

Tobi nodded. "Yes, he can."

"Well," Deidara asked. "What do you think Leader-sama is?"

"Probably Greed, just like Kakuzu-san. He does have high ambitions," Tobi remarked.

"Like attempting to take over the world doesn't require lots of determination."

"Exactly," Tobi agreed, failing to catch the sarcasm in his partner's words. "As for Leader-sama's partner... Have you ever seen him or her?"

"No. Does he even have one?"

"He probably should," Tobi said thoughtfully. "I can't see how we could extract demons otherwise."

"...Eh," Deidara shrugged. "Glad to know that someone's been studying the Akatsuki history, at least. Skipping that person, then... What do you think Uchiha is?"

"Itachi-san? You know, Tobi's not so sure. I don't think Itachi would be Gluttony..."

"Who knows?" Deidara retorted standoffishly. "He could binge sometimes."

"Deidara-sempai, be serious." Tobi chided. "But I don't think he'd be much of the rest either. Maybe Pride..."

"Times a hundred," the blonde grumbled. "His ego is damn large, yeah."

"If that's what you think," Tobi said, sighing.

"You know, we didn't really choose a definite one for me," Deidara noted. Thumbing through his clay to create some ruffled feathers, he turned to Tobi. "Well? What am I?"

"Tobi thought we already decided... Vanity, wasn't it?

"I'm hardly that," Deidara rebuked. "Think of another."

"Well, there's one sin that we haven't used yet. I don't know if sempai is really fit for the role, though."

"Go on," Deidara insisted, as he finished touching up on his sculpture. "I'm curious now, yeah."

Tobi continued reluctantly. "Well, fine. I don't know if you'll appreciate it, but..."

"Continue."

"Tobi apologizes, but if sempai truly wants to be that sin... Deidara-sempai can be Lust."

A long pause followed.

Shifting uncomfortably, Tobi threw the dandelion he had been holding down on the ground. He waited for the silence to be broken, but Deidara didn't bother to make a sound. Just as Tobi opened his mouth to talk, his blonde partner spoke.

Setting the finished sculpture of his bird down onto the grass, Deidara stared at the younger Akatsuki strangely.

"You know what Tobi? Let's talk about knitting needles again."

* * *

A/N: Thanks for reading this. As with many other writers, I'd love to have some feedback. Please review; it'd make my day. (: 


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